Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
