in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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