She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
