i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
