Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
