Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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