Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
