i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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