i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
