Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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