Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
