I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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