whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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