Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize