I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize