goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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