No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She's the barista slut.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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