he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
