do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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