I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
