I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
