I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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