I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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