He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize