i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize