I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
