Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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