I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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