wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
