grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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