Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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