This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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