I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
