He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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