It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
