DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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