Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Come share oat with me in your robe
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
