woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
