what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
