the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize