I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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