Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
