You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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