hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
