I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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