I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
