Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize