This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
