Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
