dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
