I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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