I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
