Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
