and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
