I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
A+ Viking dick
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize