I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
