I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
