When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
