Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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