The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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