Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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