I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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