His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize