every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
