I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
