I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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